Tony Bourdain & The Judgemental Toaster

OK, so this post isn't really about Anthony Bourdain, but I just want to take a moment to out-disdain Beth in regards to my beloved Mr. Bourdain. Yes, he did go to some lame-o pub thing in his DC episode, but it was in the name of meeting a CIA agent and in Baltimore he went only -and exclusively - to the ghetto. Anyone who has ever read Kitchen Confidential knows that Tony is no Baltimore tourism ambassador, but seriously, he called us "rust belt" (um, whhhaaat?) and ate only at fried-crap carry-outs and some dive-ass bar with actual gangsta-cum-"actors" from The Wire. WORST PART? He took the actual uniquely Baltimore-specific phenomena of The Wire and steamed crabs and threw them into the DC episode. So, while I totally get the sensation of being bummed-out by his choices whilst wandering your hometown, I am not sure he's ever done anybody as wrong as he done us here in Charm City.

I was able to actually hear Tony's explanation for dissing us hard from the horse's mouth when he and his BFF (and my hunky culinary crush) Eric Ripert actually stopped into Baltimore on their "Cooks' Tour" speaking tour this past May. First of all, given his blatant distaste for my fair city, I was shocked - SHOCKED! - that they came here at all, but then I got to sit there and listen to Tony say that he actually finds Baltimore quite charming yet he is under no obligation to paint a fair and balanced portrait of the destinations he profiles for his viewers. Still, all ghetto, and no mention of, say the local James Beard nominee who is actually doing the local, sustainable thing that the rest of the world is endlessly prattling on about? No visit to the nation's oldest continuously-running public market wherein lies the world's finest crabcake? He did go to Chap's Pit Beef though, if memory serves. Props to that. Still, he was kinder to Cleveland...Uzbekistan, for that matter. I get that he's not obligated to show things as they are, but it's a shame. This city takes enough of a beating. The former Baltimore-city tourism drone in me dies a little.

So, why did I just buy Tony's newest book in hardcover and plow through it in a weekend? Because snarkiness is a quality that I admire. Also, I respect his frankness in terms of his own culinary limitations and I do enjoy his general bitchiness. (That's different from snarkiness.) But, he's a little judgemental, even for my tastes and you know I judge (especially when you crack open that commercial bottled marinade. NOT COOL!)

OK, so this post was all about Anthony Bourdain. But it's not just him. When you think about it, there's a lot of jugemental-ness (yeah, I know, you're judging my grammar) surrounding food. People have really strong opinions about what they eat and what you should or should not eat. We live in a food-porn world, but when you think about it, what you choose to eat and when and how and how much is a pretty intimate decision. It's not surprising that everybody and their mother throws in their two cents.

In fact, my mom even has a judgemental toaster! If you should decide that you might like your toast toastier than the toastiness achieved in one toasting, it usually says no and refuses to work, leaving you with unsatisfactory toast. What? Crazy? I like my toast a little dark. Don't judge.

I would like you to continue to withhold judgement as you read this next recipe. Although I know it is generally accepted culinary practice, I always feel a little indulgent and perhaps gluttonous when I begin a recipe with ample amounts of olive oil and butter sizzling away in a pan together. But judge if you want; you can't beat the result. Here's a fun recipe that has very few ingredients, comes together quickly and is sooo good. It's also all about the summer goodness of tomatoes and Vidalia onions. I spun it out of a dinner I watched my sister prepare a few months ago and the lime adds an unexpected something. Thanks Kat!

Sea Scallops with Vidalia Onion & Plum Tomatoes
Serves 4

Ingredients:
16 fresh, lovely sea scallops
2 T extra virgin olive oil
2-3 T butter
1 1/2 cups diced Vidalia onion
6 - 8 Plum (Roma) Tomatoes, chopped & seeded
the juice of one lime
kosher salt & fresh cracked pepper
freshly grated parmigiano reggiano (Don't buy it grated. Grate your own! I judge you!)

Instructions:
On two layer of paper towels, lay out the scallops to dry, flipping them once. Just do it quickly. doesn't take much, but makes a difference when searing. Season them liberally with salt & pepper on both sides once dried. In a large saute pan, heat the butter & olive oil over medium-high heat. Add the onions and saute until slightly softened and translucent. Add the scallops, clearing little openings in the onions for the scallops to be in direct contact with the pan. No need to be anal about it. Sear the scallops on that first side for about 2 minutes. Flip them carefully and add tomatoes to the pan. Squeeze the lime juice over everything and simmer for about three minutes, stirring around the tomatoes and onions just a bit. Turn the heat off immediately. Overcooking scallops is easier than breathing through your nose.

Transfer the tomato-onion mixture directly from the pan to serving plates and nestle the scallops on top. Grate some fresh parm on top. Enjoy. This would probably be really good over pasta or a simple risotto, but it's nice just served with a good, crusty bread also. And a salad. Salad is my life. Eat more salad.

Bourdain and Washington, DC (and Lemon Rosemary Pound Cake)

Can you believe that Anthony Bourdain came to Washington, DC and featured Chadwicks? This is old news (the show aired in 2008), but it still bothers me. "No Reservations" came to DC and spent 15 minutes in a place that serves loaded potato skins, soggy fries, and well-done burgers. I like Bourdain so I'm going to distribute the blame evenly between him and the producers of the show. How did they research DC? Did they Google, "I'm a sweaty tourist and I'd like to eat mediocre food in Georgetown, where should I go?" To be fair, the episode also featured Jose Andres, which is better. Andres is an awesome chef and brand with an equally awesome accent, but I see him more as an ambassador for Spanish food than a representative of DC. And if Bourdain wanted to showcase a Washington tradition, Old Ebbitt would have been the spot, not Chadwicks. You can get your raw oysters, crab cakes, rockfish and ribeyes. Very DC. It's not going to blow you away and it's painfully crowded but the food is consistently good and it's great for people watching.

Actually, I'm at a loss to think of a chef that captures this city's personality. When I think of the places I love to eat in DC none of them are very "DC." Brasserie Beck, Bistro Lepic, Palena Cafe, Indique, Et Voila, Blue Duck, Sonoma, Dino and Ardeo are fabulous but aren't exactly capturing DC's soul. I see Bourdain's dilemma. Let's examine DC for a moment. The native population seems more southern then northern, but there are lots of transplants from all over the country and the world. I need to find a chef with big personality and likability. They should have a southern style with an international edge. Hmmm ... who can be DC's culinary voice?

I thought for several days. Then it came to me. She has not blown up yet, but I nominate Carla Hall from Top Chef (Season 5). Jaques Pepin does not look like an easy guy to impress, and she blew him away with peas. I like Carla. Colicchio can roll his eyes all he wants when you talk about making food with "love," but when you make food with love you show respect to the food and the cooking process. I can drink and eat to that. Cheers! Bon Appetit! Carla now runs a catering business -- Alchemy Caterers == which is fine, but I want to eat her food whenever I want. Open a restaurant! I'd come a lot, and I'd bring friends. And I'd write about it on my blog, and the 3 people that read this blog will also go. Carla: Are you listening? You are the ideal candidate. You are southern-born, perfect for DC. You went to Howard University, awesome. You traveled to Europe as a model, so cool. You returned and went to L'Academie de Cuisine in Gaithersburg, Maryland, fabulous. And you are very very tall. Doesn't really have anything to do with anything, but I think it adds to your charm.

In honor of my nomination, I am posting a recipe inspired by one of Carla's winning episodes. She made a nectarine and strawberry tartlet with thyme, lemon and cream. I love the idea of including fragrant herbs like thyme, basil or rosemary in sweet dishes. Mint is not the only herb that gets to crossover from savory to sweet.

Watch your back, mint. Your friends are coming for you.

The pound cake recipe comes from Cook's Illustrated "Baking Illustrated" cookbook. I added the lemon and rosemary to honor Carla. This cake is very dense, and is almost like a short bread.


Lemon Rosemary Pound Cake

16 tablespoons softened unsalted butter
1 1/3 cups sugar
3 large eggs plus 3 egg yolks
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 1/2 teaspoons water
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups cake flour
zest of 4-5 lemons
1 1/2 tablespoons finely chopped rosemary

Pre-heat oven to 325, grease 9 x 5 loaf pan, and line it with parchment paper. You'll need to use two sheets that overlap each other. This is a fairly annoying step, but if you don't do it you might not get your cake out, and you'll have to hack into with a fork or spoon. Not pretty. Cut parchment paper to fit the length of the loaf pan, and then cut another piece to fit the width. You'll want the parchment paper to line the bottom and sides and have an inch or two hanging over each edge.

With a hand mixer beat sugar and butter together. In a separate bowl whisk eggs, vanilla, water and salt. Then add egg mixture in a stream to sugar and butter with hand mixer on. Once incorporated, fold in lemon zest and rosemary, then fold in flour in 1/2 cup increments.

Pour mixture into lined cake pan. Bake for 70-80 minutes. Mine took 75 minutes. Start checking at the 70 minute mark by inserting a toothpick. If it comes out clean, it's done.

Let the cake rest for 5 minutes, then pull it out of loaf pan. The parchment paper will make this easy.

Let cool for another 20 minutes.

It's delicious.

I bet it would also be awesome if you used basil or even thyme.

Speaking of Tom Sizemore...

Well hello there! Remember me? It's been a while. While my co-blogger Beth has been picking up the slack this summer, I've been moving twice, living out of a suitcase and trying to exist without an internet connection. Can you imagine? No internet at all? I don't think you can. Regardless, my family and I are settling into our new home and the internet is up and working so I'm back, Baby! I'mmmm BACK!

Well, sort of. Our loyal reader will recall that in her last post, Beth was mentioning how, some days, she feels a little bit like Tom Sizemore in Blackhawk Down. Beth & I are in sync about most things, so it should come as no surprise that I, too, have been feeling a lot like Tom Sizemore, but not Tom Sizemore, the beleaguered, tough-as-nails American soldier in Blackhawk Down or the heroic, tough-as-nails American soldier in Saving Private Ryan or the cynical, tough-as-nails DEA Agent in point break or even the psychotic, tough-as-nails gangster in Reservoir Dogs. Oh wait...that was Michael Madsen. Anybody else think they might be the same person? I digress.

No, my friends, I am afraid I feel like real life Tom Sizemore. Yes, I am in a very bloated, overweight, exhausted to my core, vaguely hungover, in and out of a toxic relationship with Heidi Fleiss, Dr. Drew's Celebrity Rehab sort of place right now. As a result, I am in the midst of a nutritionist-prescribed "re-calibration" diet, intended to, at long last, get my system back on track after the removal of my gall bladder earlier this year. Essentially, I can eat lean protein, vegetables, brown rice, oatmeal, fruit and nuts. No gluten, no sugar, no dairy, no alcohol, no caffeine. But, ya know what? It's all right. Not as bad as you might think. I really only miss cheese. And wine. And ice cream which I only ever want when I'm told I cannot have it. Plus, it's only two or three weeks. I figure I can do almost anything for that long, especially if it's for the greater good. In this case, the greater good of me.

With all of that in mind, here's a little recipe I whipped together for dinner the other night. Health-wise, you can't go wrong with salmon, so that's where we'll begin. And, if you think I'm sitting here steaming everything, I think I mentally signed on to be re-calibrated when the aforementioned nutritionist said "you can have olive oil and butter." Try this on salmon, chicken, pork...might even work on swordfish and stuff! I served it with brown rice with all of the extra pan drippings stirred in. Yum. Even my parents and husband thought this was delicious and they are not on any weird diets.

Please note that the sauce must come together quickly, so please be sure to have all of your chopping, etc. done before you begin, lest you overcook your salmon.

With any luck, soon I'll be feeling a lot less like Tom Sizemore and a lot more like Uma Thurman, his co-star in Kill Bill. Oh, shoot...that was Michael Madsen again. Seriously, has anybody ever seen them in the same place at the same time?


Roasted Salmon with Whole Grain Mustard & Cremini Mushrooms

Ingredients:
1 1/2 lbs. fresh Salmon fillet
2 T. olive oil, divided
1 lemon
2 medium shallots, diced
2 T. old style whole grain Dijon mustard (Maille brand is what I use)
1 T. capers
2/3 cup cremini (baby portobello) mushrooms, stems removed, halved or quartered into bite-size pieces
1 clove chopped garlic
1/2 cup delicious dry white wine or chicken stock (for deglazing)

Instructions:
Preheat the oven to 375 degrees and place a baking dish in there to preheat along with it. In a large saute pan, heat 1 T. of the olive oil over medium high heat. Season salmon liberally with kosher salt and fresh cracked pepper and a drizzle of additional olive oil. Place the salmon flesh side down in the saute pan. Allow to brown for about 1 minute and carefully turn it with a spatula. Cook for one more minute, skin side down. Transfer salmon to the baking dish that has been preheating in the oven.

In the pan you just took the salmon out of, quickly add the shallots, mustard, capers & mushrooms, plus at least 1 T. of lemon juice, more if you like. Saute, stirring constantly for about 2 minutes. Add the garlic. Saute for another minute. Turn up the heat just a bit and add the wine or stock to deglaze the pan. Allow mixture to simmer for a minute and then carefully pour it all over the salmon that has been cooking away in the oven. Allow to roast for about 12 more minutes (after searing, the salmon should cook for a total of about 15 minutes or until it separates easily when poked with a fork, but not until it's "flaky." No one really wants their fish "flaky." "Flaky" is dry.) To serve, transfer salmon carefully to plate and sort of mound all the good mushrooms & stuff from the sauce on top. Reserve the pan jus for rice if you so desire. Enjoy.

My Alley (and "Indian-Style" Chili)

There have been days when I have treated the alley behind my house like the streets of Mogadishu, and I'm Tom Sizemore in "Black Hawk Down." I barrel down full speed in my blue Subaru Outback. No stopping. There are low flying birds, double parked cars, recycling bins, and my stupid neighbor hauling God-knows-what into his garbage. Simon (my son) has lost it about a half mile back. He ate his last saltine cracker. I'm digging for any lint covered snack for him at the bottom of my purse. It's a treacherous ride and I'm agitated. I need to get into my garage and into my house as soon as possible or I'm going to have to call in some Black Hawks to clear the way. For a new parent, getting through your daily routine can seem as daunting as a late-afternoon assault in a lawless city.

And you certainly don't have to be a new parent to have days where you feel a little like Sizemore. You might not be up against road blocks of burning tires and helicopter debris, but the lady at the CVS counter trying to locate a coupon in the black hole she calls a purse is giving you a nervous twitch.

On days like this, I need to eat dinner on my couch sitting next to my husband. I must be able to eat with one utensil (spoon or fork, no knife) and it ought to be served in a large bowl so that I can be utterly clueless about portion size.

I've made this recipe dozens of times. It's like an Indian chili, full of spicy and earthy flavors. There are a lot of ingredients, but don't let that deter you. And if you need to go out and buy cumin, coriander and garam masala, do it! You will be making this recipe again and again. I can promise that.

I adapted the recipe from one of my favorite cookbooks, "Quick & Easy Indian Cooking" by Madhur Jaffrey.

1 small-medium onion, roughly chopped
2 inches of fresh ginger, finely chopped
6-7 garlic cloves, finely chopped
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon cumin seeds
1 teaspoon coriander seeds
1/2 teaspoon ground turmeric
1 medium-sized tomato, roughly chopped
1/2 cup plain yogurt
1 1/2 lbs ground lamb or ground chicken. I used ground turkey (dark meat) last time, because that's all that had at Whole Foods.
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
2 teaspoons garam masala (you can definitely get this at Whole Foods, but most grocery stores have it too)
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
1 small hot green chili, finely chopped (jalapeno will do great, and you can remove seeds if you don't want it too hot. I did.)
6 tablespoons coarsely chopped cilantro
1 cup peas (frozen will do great)

Heat up oil in nonstick pan. When oil is hot add onion, ginger and garlic. Cook until light brown. Add cayenne, cumin seeds, coriander seeds and turmeric. Stir. Add tomatoes and yogurt and cook until tomatoes soften. Add meat, salt and garam masala. Stir and break up meat for 5-8 minutes. Add 1 cup of water and bring to a simmer. Cover and turn to low for 25 minutes. Then add lemon juice, green chili, cilantro and peas. Bring back to simmer then lower again covered for a final 10 minutes.

Serve over white or brown rice.

"Good Will Hunting" and Michael Chiarello, again (and Fried Chicken)

Sometimes I fantasize that I'm the "Good Will Hunting" of the culinary world. I imagine that I'm the janitor at the Culinary Institute of America. Ben Affleck and his brother whats-his-name drop me off and all through the night I work in the CIA kitchens. I sous-vide and souffle. I leave my treats in plain sight so that students and teachers can get a taste. They cry over my genius. I'm then outed by some pompous teacher. Tom Colicchio? No -- mean, but not mean enough. Perhaps some French guy, Eric Ripert? Nope, that won't work either. Love that silver fox. Let's see. I know. Michael Chiarello. Perfect. So Chiarello catches me leaving one of my treats. I try to walk away quickly pretending I don't hear him yelling after me. I confess that it is I who is the culinary genius everyone has been pulling their hair out to find. But I'm in trouble with the law or something like that. I'm forgetting the storyline a bit, but I know that I have to go see a Robin Williams type character, an "every man" mentor of sorts. Chiarello racks his brain to find someone that can relate to me.

I first meet Giada. She's okay, very nice, but her cleavage is distracting. I thought she only did that to get ratings for her show, but apparently, she always has them out on display. Next is Emeril but he talks too loud, and insists we meet in front of a studio audience. Then I meet Bobby Flay. Good guy. Loves to grill. He displays respect for American food and American home cooks. With Flay's help I'm able to channel my genius and further sharpen my culinary skills, leaving a jealous Chiarello in the dust.

And that's the end of my fantasy.

The point of my fantasy is that I have a problem with Chiarello (insert forced laugh). That's partially true, but the point really is that all home cooks should be exceedingly proud of their work, and a few of us might just be hidden geniuses. Like me, I'm sure you are mostly self-taught. I read a lot of cookbooks, watched a lot of cooking shows and ate lots of food. That's how I learned. My knife skills are embarrassing, but that doesn't mean my food isn't delicious. I'm a diamond in the rough. I'm patting myself on the back. Feels good.

Now, the food: Here's a great recipe for fried chicken, I adapted it from an Ina Garten recipe. Whenever I eat fried chicken I am confused as to why I don't eat it more. Michel Richard tells a story about first coming to the U.S. and having a bucket of KFC chicken. He was awe struck: "We don't have anything like this in France, so crispy, so juicy" Never have I heard a French chef have anything kind to say about American food, let alone fast food. What an admission. I've paraphrased a bit, but it's no secret Richard is a sucker for fried chicken. It's one of the highlights at his downtown DC restaurant, Central.

1 whole chicken, cut into pieces, legs, thighs, wings, breasts (halved)
2 cups buttermilk
1 1/2 cups flour
1/2 tablespoon salt
1/2 tablespoon pepper
1/4 teaspoon cayenne
If you don't like heat, I think it would be great to substitute a tablespoon of finely chopped fresh rosemary instead of cayenne. And if you are feeling really crazy a couple of teaspoons of curry powder would be an interesting twist.

Pour buttermilk over chicken and let sit overnight.

Pre-heat oven to 350

Mix flour, salt, pepper, cayenne. Dredge chicken in mixture and set aside.

Heat up vegetable oil in large pot with a heavy bottom. I used my Dutch oven (8 quart). Oil should be 1" deep. Heat oil to 375. I highly recommend getting a candy/oil thermometer. Don't crowd the pan. Place no more then 3 or4 pieces of chicken in pan at a time. Cook 3 minutes each side. You will need to do this in two batches. After the first batch, let the oil come back to 375 before you add more chicken. Chicken will be golden brown, and will further darken in the oven. Place chicken on metal wire rack on top of a sheet pan. When all the pieces are fried, place in oven for 35 minutes.

Serve with buttery string beans and buttermilk biscuits.

Kitchen Work (and No-Knead Bread)

You can tell a lot about people by the way they work in a kitchen. Even before Michael Chiarello outed his jerky-ness on Top Chef Masters, I could tell he was a major you-know-what from watching his show. Like a flock of birds, vegetables soar into the air in perfect formation as he flips them in his saute pan."Pasta should always be served hot, or room temperature", he declares while rolling his gnocchi. A clear shot at the all-American (cold) pasta salad. He smirks at the camera as he dices the tiniest of shallots. Dinner with friends is served outside. Everyone sips wine, marvels at the view of the Napa Valley hills, and talks about how awesome their friend Michael is. Is Chiarello trying to teach us something, or is he just a big show-off? It's as though you asked Michael Phelps to show you how to swim and during lesson one, he throws on his Speedo LRZ racer and swims eight laps of butterfly. Impressive? Yes. Helpful? No.

Then there is Sandra Lee, who looks awkward and dangerous in the kitchen. I'm surprised she has all her fingers with the way she wields a knife. She should have home cooks guest star on her show to guide her through a recipe. The last 10 minutes of the show isn't even in the kitchen. Sandra unveils her tablescape, and reviews how to use the Bedazzler on table linens.

Befitting my personality, I'm a home cook whose number one rule is "clean as you go." I'm also a fanatic about "prep work." It's not unusual for me to start dinner "prep" at 6AM. It's extreme, but I work full time and I have a 1-year-old son. I have no time to clean big messes after dinner (though I'm happy to let my husband do it), and I have no time when I get home from work to wash and chop vegetables. I love cooking, but I'm practical. It's probably why I like Rachael Ray. If you put aside her personality, she can show us home cooks a lot. She never wastes food or time in the kitchen, and she is always letting you know if the ingredient she's using is available at your grocery store. I'm a fan, personality and all. I even have one of her shirts. It's says "Yummo." I wear it under my clothes like the way Clark Kent wears his Superman shirt. Well, that's actually not true, but I wear it when I run.

This week I made a "No Knead" bread. Fits my cooking habits perfectly. Who has time to knead? This is a famous recipe by Jim Lahey of Sullivan Street Bakery. Amanda McClements, Metrocurean Blogger, made it during Washington DC's Snowmageddon. I read her post, and I wanted to make it right then. But I had no yeast on hand, and I didn't think my husband wanted to wait in line for 3 hours at the grocery store to pick up a package of yeast. I don't know what made me think of trying it again 5 months later, but I'm glad I did.

The following recipe is from Cook's Illustrated, which adapted it from the famous Jim Lahey recipe. It's "almost" no-knead bread.

3 cups all purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon instant yeast
1 1/2 teaspoons of salt
3/4 cups plus 2 tablespoons room temperature water
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons mild-flavored lager (I used Stella Artois)
1 tablespoon white vinegar

Mix the dry ingredients first, then add wet. Stir in bowl until ball forms. The dough ball will look tattered.

Cover with plastic wrap and let sit for 18 hours. Crazy, I know.

After 18 hours, knead 10-12 times.

Place on a piece of parchment paper (12" x 18") sprayed with non stick cooking spray. Place in pan or skillet that's 10" or 12" to help form the round shape you'll need. Cover loosely with plastic wrap for another 2 hours.

Pre-heat the oven to 500 degrees with your 6-8 quart dutch oven inside, lid on. Let it heat for 30 minutes.

After the two hours, dust the top of the dough with a bit of flour and make a 6 inch slit across the top with sharp knife. Lift dough out of skillet using parchment paper to lift it out, and then lower into dutch oven. Cover and let excess parchment paper stick out the sides. Lower oven temperature to 425 and cook for 30 minutes. Remove lid, and then cook for another 20 minutes.

Voila!