Tony Bourdain & The Judgemental Toaster

OK, so this post isn't really about Anthony Bourdain, but I just want to take a moment to out-disdain Beth in regards to my beloved Mr. Bourdain. Yes, he did go to some lame-o pub thing in his DC episode, but it was in the name of meeting a CIA agent and in Baltimore he went only -and exclusively - to the ghetto. Anyone who has ever read Kitchen Confidential knows that Tony is no Baltimore tourism ambassador, but seriously, he called us "rust belt" (um, whhhaaat?) and ate only at fried-crap carry-outs and some dive-ass bar with actual gangsta-cum-"actors" from The Wire. WORST PART? He took the actual uniquely Baltimore-specific phenomena of The Wire and steamed crabs and threw them into the DC episode. So, while I totally get the sensation of being bummed-out by his choices whilst wandering your hometown, I am not sure he's ever done anybody as wrong as he done us here in Charm City.

I was able to actually hear Tony's explanation for dissing us hard from the horse's mouth when he and his BFF (and my hunky culinary crush) Eric Ripert actually stopped into Baltimore on their "Cooks' Tour" speaking tour this past May. First of all, given his blatant distaste for my fair city, I was shocked - SHOCKED! - that they came here at all, but then I got to sit there and listen to Tony say that he actually finds Baltimore quite charming yet he is under no obligation to paint a fair and balanced portrait of the destinations he profiles for his viewers. Still, all ghetto, and no mention of, say the local James Beard nominee who is actually doing the local, sustainable thing that the rest of the world is endlessly prattling on about? No visit to the nation's oldest continuously-running public market wherein lies the world's finest crabcake? He did go to Chap's Pit Beef though, if memory serves. Props to that. Still, he was kinder to Cleveland...Uzbekistan, for that matter. I get that he's not obligated to show things as they are, but it's a shame. This city takes enough of a beating. The former Baltimore-city tourism drone in me dies a little.

So, why did I just buy Tony's newest book in hardcover and plow through it in a weekend? Because snarkiness is a quality that I admire. Also, I respect his frankness in terms of his own culinary limitations and I do enjoy his general bitchiness. (That's different from snarkiness.) But, he's a little judgemental, even for my tastes and you know I judge (especially when you crack open that commercial bottled marinade. NOT COOL!)

OK, so this post was all about Anthony Bourdain. But it's not just him. When you think about it, there's a lot of jugemental-ness (yeah, I know, you're judging my grammar) surrounding food. People have really strong opinions about what they eat and what you should or should not eat. We live in a food-porn world, but when you think about it, what you choose to eat and when and how and how much is a pretty intimate decision. It's not surprising that everybody and their mother throws in their two cents.

In fact, my mom even has a judgemental toaster! If you should decide that you might like your toast toastier than the toastiness achieved in one toasting, it usually says no and refuses to work, leaving you with unsatisfactory toast. What? Crazy? I like my toast a little dark. Don't judge.

I would like you to continue to withhold judgement as you read this next recipe. Although I know it is generally accepted culinary practice, I always feel a little indulgent and perhaps gluttonous when I begin a recipe with ample amounts of olive oil and butter sizzling away in a pan together. But judge if you want; you can't beat the result. Here's a fun recipe that has very few ingredients, comes together quickly and is sooo good. It's also all about the summer goodness of tomatoes and Vidalia onions. I spun it out of a dinner I watched my sister prepare a few months ago and the lime adds an unexpected something. Thanks Kat!

Sea Scallops with Vidalia Onion & Plum Tomatoes
Serves 4

Ingredients:
16 fresh, lovely sea scallops
2 T extra virgin olive oil
2-3 T butter
1 1/2 cups diced Vidalia onion
6 - 8 Plum (Roma) Tomatoes, chopped & seeded
the juice of one lime
kosher salt & fresh cracked pepper
freshly grated parmigiano reggiano (Don't buy it grated. Grate your own! I judge you!)

Instructions:
On two layer of paper towels, lay out the scallops to dry, flipping them once. Just do it quickly. doesn't take much, but makes a difference when searing. Season them liberally with salt & pepper on both sides once dried. In a large saute pan, heat the butter & olive oil over medium-high heat. Add the onions and saute until slightly softened and translucent. Add the scallops, clearing little openings in the onions for the scallops to be in direct contact with the pan. No need to be anal about it. Sear the scallops on that first side for about 2 minutes. Flip them carefully and add tomatoes to the pan. Squeeze the lime juice over everything and simmer for about three minutes, stirring around the tomatoes and onions just a bit. Turn the heat off immediately. Overcooking scallops is easier than breathing through your nose.

Transfer the tomato-onion mixture directly from the pan to serving plates and nestle the scallops on top. Grate some fresh parm on top. Enjoy. This would probably be really good over pasta or a simple risotto, but it's nice just served with a good, crusty bread also. And a salad. Salad is my life. Eat more salad.