My Husband's Birthday, Idiots, Hellman's Mayonnaise and Chocolate Cake

A few Friday nights ago, I made "Idiot Chocolate Cake" by chef and author David Lebovitz. Supposedly, only an idiot can screw up this recipe. There are many things that I'm not good at, but I know how to read and execute a recipe. This one required a springform pan. I didn't have one, so I picked one up. I also picked up ScharffenBerger chocolate as the recipe recommends and I even brought my eggs up to room temperature, a practice I've always been leery about. The cake is simple and it took only a few minutes to combine the chocolate, sugar, eggs and butter. I poured the batter into a buttered and cocoa powder-ed springform pan and placed it in a roasting dish. Following the recipe instructions to create a water bath, I poured hot water in the roasting dish to surround the cake. I set the timer for 75 minutes, and I placed it in my hot oven. The smell of it baking was glorious. I was so excited. The one-hour mark hit, and I took a peak at the cake. The top looked a little odd, full of bubbles and craters. I was momentarily concerned, but not alarmed. I waited another 15 minutes, and took the cake out. The top now really bothered me, and I stared at it for awhile. As I stared, the cake fell in on itself. Crap.

The recipe did have a warning regarding the springform pan, and recommend wrapping it in tinfoil if you suspect it's not waterproof. And I did in fact wrap the pan, but not tightly enough. Water had made its way into the cake, and ruined the whole thing. I was pissed. Thankfully, I was able to comfort myself by eating the only edible part of the cake, the top crust -- and it was tasty. David Lebovitz should have added a footnote for idiots. I mean, doesn't he know how many idiots are out there? Lots and lots. The idiot footnote should read as follows: "The springform pan you just bought is not waterproof. Wrap it tightly with layer upon layer of tinfoil or your cake will be a soggy mess."

I wanted a great chocolate cake for husband's birthday. This "Idiot Cake" was a test run. Thank God. But now what? He loves chocolate cake, and I really wanted to get this right. I would try Lebovitz's cake again, but my confidence was a bit shaken. This recipe shall be shelved for the time being. I needed to think. I often get inspiration when I think back to the food I ate many moons ago. As I kid I remember my mom making a chocolate cake that had mayonnaise in it. It was awesome -- moist and chocolate-y. The recipe was published in a Hellman's Mayonnaise cookbook. I have no idea how we came to have this book, maybe Hellman's sent it to us because of all the tuna salad and egg salad sandwiches we ate. I scoured the internet for the recipe. There were countless versions. The best of the bunch came from Cook's Illustrated (surprise, surprise).

This is so simple -- no frosting, no water bath, no springform pan, no room temperature eggs. This is idiot-proof for idiots.

Chocolate Mayonnaise Cake

1 1/2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
1 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon table salt
1/2 cup cocoa powder
2 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped finely
1 cup hot strong coffee
2/3 cups mayonnaise
1 large egg
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
confectionery sugar for dusting

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees. Butter an 8" by 8" square pan.

Combine flour, sugar, baking soda and salt in large bowl. Set aside. Combine chocolate, coffee and cocoa. Whisk until smooth and let cool for a minute or two. Then whisk in mayonnaise, egg and vanilla. Then stir mayonnaise mixture into flour.

Once fully incorporated pour into buttered pain, and cook for 25 - 30 minutes.

Let cool in pan for 1 - 2 hours.

Turn cake out onto serving platter and dust with powdered sugar.

Serve with dollop of fresh whipped cream.

P.S. I've clearly relapsed on baking. I have not moved on to soups and stews as I said I would in my last post. Oh well, I guess I need a court-ordered stint in baking rehab.