Cutting Corners

Not only do I like to cook, I like to read about cooking, I like to watch cooking shows...all of it. But, I am just a humble home chef and sometimes submerging myself in the world of "professional food" just highlights my shortcomings. I don't have any professional training, my kitchen is the size of a small master bathroom, I therefore do not have a lot of fancy eqiupment and I am fundamentally lazy. This is not a pity party...I don't mind any of these issues except maybe for the tiny kitchen, but that's a story for another day. In fact, I frequently feel more proud and more satisfied when I manage to cook something delicious IN SPITE of my meager knowledge, space and equipment. Anybody can whip up a masterpiece with a degree from Le Cordon Bleu in the Iron Chef America Kitchen Stadium with every tool known to man and three assistants. I happen to think that victory tastes sweeter in my tiny dining room (adjacent to the tiny kitchen).

Of course, sometimes a lack of training, equipment and space means some corners must be cut. Take, for example, the recipe that follows. It is widely accepted amongst many of my closest friends and family that I make excellent baby back ribs, on a par with or superior to many local BBQ joints (yeah, yeah, I know...it's Baltimore, not Memphis. Hush.) but the technique I use would make any self-respecting pit master spin. It is absolute BBQ blasphemy. Why? Because at no point do my ribs ever come in contact with anything related to a barbecue pit, a grill or a smoker. Never. Ever. Not even for a second.


I sense you out there doubting the deliciousness. Go right ahead. But, for those of you dwelling in tiny kitchens with neither the space nor budget for a smoker who are willing to set aside a few hours for the recipe that follows, you might just thank me. I am about to make you an honorary Apartment Grand Master BBQ Pit Master. These ribs are as tender and delicious as any you've tasted and are just in time for the heart of football season. They'll make you wanna slap your waiter at Chili's (if you didn't already). If it makes you feel much better, fire up your grill and let the ribs hit the hot grid for a few seconds just before serving...you'll get some lovely grill marks and you can tell people they're barbecued.

One small thing with my apologies...you'll have to use a bottled sauce or devise one of your own since I am not about to publish my recipe. If I don't have the skills or game to get to Kitchen Stadium, I'm gonna make my billions bottling BBQ Sauce.

And, no, I didn't forget that it's still October here on the blog...see ingredients list for Apple Juice. See? More corners cut!




Kristin's Apartment Grand Master BBQ Ribs

Ingredients:

6 racks pork baby back ribs, preferrably pork loin ribs if you can find them...check Sam's Club.

2 12 oz. cans domestic beer

3 cups Apple Juice or Cider, divided

1 cup Rib Rub (you can purchase pork or BBQ rub in the spice aisle if you're so inclined. If you'd like to make your own, play around with combinations of salt, brown sugar, paprika, coriander, garlic powder, black pepper & cayenne. Make a flavor like Brown sugar or paprika your base or you'll run the risk of overwhelming with salt or spice.)

2 cups of your favorite BBQ Sauce - e-mail me if you want some tips on doing it yourself. If you use a bottled sauce, Mazel Tov, but know that I judge you. Slacker.

Special Equipment:
2 Reynold's Oven Bags, Turkey size
2 "disposable" (recycle them or I'll come find you) foil pans, large

Instructions:
Preheat your oven to 275, making sure that your racks are spaced to accommodate the big pans with room for the oven bags to puff up. Open up the oven bags and place one in each of the foil pans. Place 3 racks of ribs in each bag, allowing them to overlap if necessary, but not cover each other. rub the tops of the ribs generously with the dry rub mixture. Pour one full beer and 1 1/2 cups of apple juice in each bag. Seal the bag shut with the twist-tie that comes with the oven bags. Place trays of ribs in the oven and allow them to cook, low and slow, for 3 to 4 hours.

Remove ribs from oven. Turn the oven up to 350. Working in your sink if possible, carefully lift the bags out of the foil pans. Cut the neck of the bag and allow the liquid to drain out. Using tongs, carefully remove the ribs from the bags and place them directly back into the foil pans. Baste ribs with about half of your BBQ sauce...don't smother them, just paint them with a liberal coat. Place the ribs back in the oven for 45 minutes to an hour. This step can be substituted for some time - maybe 10 minutes on medium heat - on the grill if it'll help you sleep well, but be aware that where there is fire there is, well, fire, and BBQ sauce chars easily. I'm just sayin'.

Remove the ribs from the oven and allow them to cool for a minute or two. Using a really good knife, cut the racks into 4 rib sections and serve with remaining BBQ sauce. While you're cutting corners, may I suggest Ore-Ida Fast Food Fries as an accompaniment? Go ahead and buy a bag of salad while you're at it. Why start trying now?